Hurting

My boyfriend of four years broke it off just two days ago. I'm 18, and he is 19.
He told me he no longer loves me like he used to, instead loves me as a friend. He told me he was with me so no-one else could have me, and because my mother and grandmother passed away in the last year, he was sympathetic to my loss. He also said he has 'grown out of me' and that our relationship has gone as far as it can. He is such a great guy and was totally dedicated to me and us.

I don't believe him. He's just recently started working at a nightclub and I suspect that has more to do with him wanting to break up than the reasons he gave me.

I feel so sad, and angry too, because he so willingly let go of me, and what we had shared together in our four years. We hardly fought over serious things, were always happy. He also mentioned something about wanting to grow, without me by his side. I'm the only girl he has been intimate with, and I was wondering, if his age and the fact of the nightclub and lack of sexual interaction with other girls can cause him not to be 'in love' with me anymore. I didn't change towards him during the relationship. I thought we were as close as two people of our age could be. Will he come back to me? and will it be too late? How can someone's love change overnight?
`HURTING'

A.
I don't think love can change overnight. Either it wasn't love to begin with or the person has changed, not the feelings. It sounds to me that your guy just wants more freedom and at your age, that's understandable. It does sound like he cares about you more as a friend, staying with you through your bereavements, for example. I think the nightclub job could be a factor butwhatever reasons he's offering, it doesn't change the fact that he wants out. Your best bet is to hope it's temporary. After he's had a taste of freedom, he might realise what he has with you. Only you can decide if you want to wait. My advice is get out and date other boys. You will only seem more attractive to him if you do. Never be anyone's doormat. It's an important life-lesson that the best relationship is between two equals so stand proud and trust the future.




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