Dating Detox

Dating Detox

Decluttering your love life will make it more existent, and sites like Minds Alike are a great way to streamline as they actually match suiters based on their interests, rather than simply on looks, so unions are longer lasting.

Be positive and give yourself a dose of self-love: Finding love starts with loving and accepting yourself, so if you're feeling less than fabulous it's time to give yourself a much needed dose of self-love. Rather than focusing on what you don't like about yourself (and the fact that you're still single) take this time to pamper and appreciate yourself, re-connect with connect with friends and make new friends and focus on the positive. Focusing on the positive will not only make you feel happier and more optimistic and confident but it will make you look more confident, approachable and attractive too!

Be honest about who you are what you want from a relationship: It can be tempting to portray a version of you that you think others want but there's no point pretending you're the life of the party or an adrenaline junkie if your idea of adventure is watching an action flick on the couch. Be honest with yourself and others about who you are what you want and the type of relationship you're looking for and don't just assume that they're after the same thing. Research published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that when it comes to hookups opposite attracts, whereas people looking for a long-term relationship tend to seek those with similar interests and values, so choose accordingly and be mindful of the message you're sending out.

Be more selective: Many people set themselves up for failure and rejection when they're dating by emotionally investing in people who are unlikely to return their interest rather than focusing their energy and attention on those who are more compatible. Research shows that sharing mutual interests helps to reduce first date jitters and those awkward silences, increases attraction, satisfaction and the odds you'll stay together. So if you're dating online choose a site that allows you to refine your search and filters based on interests.

Spring clean your dating profiles: Being signed up to every dating site on the net might seem like a good idea, however, the scattergun approach can get in the way of finding love. There is such a thing as too much choice, particularly if it skews your selection process. Whilst amassing a list of gorgeous matches can be a massive ego boost at first, managing multiple inboxes and a string of dates who have nothing in common with you can leave you feeling frustrated, overwhelmed and your self esteem in tatters. Love isn't a race and if a relationship is what you're after it's more important to take your time to find the right person for you. Not all dating sites are equal, so stick to one dating site that matches you on compatibility and mutual interests and helps you to take your relationship offline such as Minds Alike and always use the same selection criteria online as you would face-to-face.

Manage your sexpectations and be realistic: When it comes to connecting with people and dating try to go in with an open mind, be realistic and avoid being too quick to write other people off. It's all too easy to fantasise about the type of person you think (or hope) your date will be like and the kind of relationship you'll have only to be bitterly disappointed if the real life version doesn't quite stack up. To avoid disappointment avoid choosing a date based solely on their looks, look for someone who has things in common with you and be realistic about your expectations.

Get out there and don't let the fear of rejection scare you: No matter who you are, rejection can hurt. In fact a study at the University of Michigan have found that social rejection stimulates the same neural pathways activated during actual physical pain. The good news is that how much that rejection affects you depends on your expectations, emotional investment and experience. The more you build your expectations and fantasize about the kind of person he or she is (or the relationship you might have) the more it's likely to hurt. Rejection is simply someone choosing what's right for them. It doesn't mean that you're any less attractive, intelligent or desirable, simply that you weren't what they were looking for. The more you practice connecting and dating, (and yes, that means the more you get rejected) the easier it becomes to approach people and to communicate with the opposite sex and the more fun you'll have.

Created with dating website Minds Alike and their relationship expert, Katia Loisel. http://Mindsalike.com.au