Not My Family, Never My Child

Not My Family, Never My Child

A practical handbook for anyone who suspects (or knows) someone they care about is a drug user.Not My Family, Never My Child is a highly practical guide to helping, supporting and coping with a family member or loved one's struggle with addiction.Drawing on the tragic loss of his own son to a heroin overdose and over 20 years working as a counsellor, Tony Trimingham cuts through the media hype and politicking to address the real issues facing the families and friends of someone struggling with addiction.

Filled with constructive suggestions and strategies, Not My Family Never My Child is aimed at supporting parents, family members and loved ones of drug users and the users themselves through the difficult journey of drug dependency. It includes detailed information on: warning signs, early intervention, coping and survival strategies, treatment and where to go for additional advice and support.

Not My Family Never My Child is an invaluable tool that will help families and friends cope with and get through the trauma, guilt and challenges of supporting someone struggling with drug addiction.

Tony Trimingham established the Damien Trimingham Foundation after the death of his 23-year-old son from a drug overdose. A counsellor for 20 years, Tony has assisted many families affected by illicit drug use through the Foundation's working project, Family Drug Support. In 1999 The Alcohol and Other Drugs Council of Australia awarded Tony an Australia Day Medallion for outstanding achievement in the reduction of alcohol and drug-related harm. In 2008 he was the joint winner of the Prime Minister's Award for work in the field of drugs and alcohol.

Why did you decide to write this book?

Tony Trimingham: It has been a ten year product. I have wanted to do it for so long but I've been busy. I felt it was necessary to inform other family members of strategies to help others and make it easier on them.


Is there a gap in the market for this type of book?

Tony Trimingham: Certainly. When we started our service over 12 years ago, families where ignored. Now it is a national support group that organises meetings and has other resources, like websites.


The name suggests that the book is written for parents. Do you suggest teenagers and their parents read this book even if they don't know some who is a drug user, but to hopefully prevent them from becoming one?

Tony Trimingham: It's for everyone. Although it is directed at family members, in reality 80% of the people that call our hotline are females, most mothers. The book isn't exclusively for mother but for fathers, siblings, grandparents and for everyone who cares. Family is a wide definition. Good friends can be family. When someone is using drugs they may lose connection with their family. This book helps the family cope, not to fix the problem as in reality a drug problem is hard to fix; only the drug user can fix that. The book provides skill tips for communication and better every day living.


What tips do you have to teenagers and young adults who know and see others around them using drugs?

Tony Trimingham: I think the key message for young people is to take care of themselves as well as their friends. If there is anyone using drugs whether it is going on all the time or in nightclub bases there is physical evidence for an overdose don't be afraid to take them to the hospital. If they are drunk don't let them drive, revive them if they overdose or pass out. Know the invasive recovering positions and don't abandon people who may have vomited, as people can die from chocking on their own vomit. These are all simple practice measures that young adults should know. We know a lot about drugs but we don't know about the legal ramifications involved with drugs, in reality the laws are tougher. Now places uses drug testing for jobs, which we didn't have ten years ago, there are road side testing now, which we didn't have five years ago and young people don't know what to do if they are caught up in the situation, if they have drugs on them. There could be serious trouble especially because now we have sniffer dogs, in reality this is happening and young people need to know and be prepared to know their rights.

My advice is not to panic. Be practical. Whilst teenaged rebellion is normal and the rebelling is normally against parents, parents are the ones that will stand by you when everyone else is gone. If it is difficult to communication but you are in trouble still go to them. They will find resources and help you cope, bridge the gap with your parents, they will open your eyes and become more aware about drugs and the drug issue. Young people need to assist and not be afraid to speak to their parents.


What are some of the warning signs of a drug addiction?

Tony Trimingham: There are a lot of signs that can be normal behaviour such as changes in sleeping patterns, having the munchies, people getting up at midnight to go out, normal behaviour that doesn't always indicate drug use. Eyes are a giveaway; dilated eyes show evidence of stimulus's such as speed, ecstasy and ice. The eyes is one tell tale sign, those that inject drugs also will wear long sleeves inappropriately. Drugs that cause psychotic behaviour such as unusually hyper-aggressiveness and anger whilst also being over-sexed and acting out can all be indicators or an on-going or temporary addiction. Look for things whilst staying calm and not panicking.


Where is the book Not My Family, Never My Child available?

Tony Trimingham: It is available in most book stores and is in stores now. It may be found in the self-help section.


How can our readers support the Damien Trimingham Foundation?

Tony Trimingham:Donations are appreciated as drug foundations do not receive a lot of Government support. To donate you can ring the office 02 4782 9222 or mail via PO Box 7363 Lura 2780.


Tony Trimingham is the CEO of Family Drug Support, an organisation he founded to assist families of addicts after his son Damien died of a heroin overdose in the late 1990s. More than anyone, he knows what Australian families want and need to know in order to cope with the inevitable fallout once a family member or friend goes on drugs. FDS now receives over 25,000 calls for assistance each year and Tony is in demand both internationally and within Australia as a keynote speaker and media talking head on drug reform policy.

Not My Family, Never My Child
Allen and Unwin Publishers
Author: Tony Trimingham
ISBN: 9781741755251
Price: $24.95