101 Tough Conversations To Have With Employees

101 Tough Conversations To Have With Employees

Bad attitudes? Discipline and performance problems? Here's much-needed help for managers who need to "have a talk" with their people.

Inappropriate attire, lateness, sexually offensive behaviour, not to mention productivity and communication issues ... these are just a few of the uncomfortable topics bosses must sometimes discuss with their employees. 101 Tough Conversations to Have with Employees offers realistic sample dialogues managers can use to facilitate clear, direct interactions with their employees, helping them sidestep potential awkwardness and meet issues head-on.

This practical, solution-oriented book walks readers through some of the most common-as well as the most serious-employee problems they are likely to encounter. Covering everything from substandard performance reviews to personal hygiene to termination meetings, this handy guide helps managers treat their people with dignity, focusing not just on what to say but also on how to say it. This helpful book provides proven techniques managers can use to protect themselves and their organisations...and get the very best from their people.

Paul Falcone is Vice President of Human Resources at Nickelodeon. He is the author of 2600 Phrases for Effective Performance Reviews, 101 Sample Write-Ups for Documenting Employee Performance Problems, and 96 Great Interview Questions to Ask Before You Hire.

101 Tough Conversations To Have With Employees
McGraw-Hill Education Australia & New Zealand
Author: Paul Falcone
ISBN: 9780814413487
Price: $18.95
www.mcgraw-hill.com.au

Interview with Paul Falcone

Question: Can you talk about the types of tough conversations featured in 101 Tough Conversations To Have With Employees?

Paul Falcone: The book focuses on the most common and most challenging discussions that typically come up in the workplace, structured under the following headings: (1) substandard job performance, (2) inappropriate workplace conduct, (3) and attendance and tardiness. Beyond that core, though, it then goes into more subjective and delicate topics like personal style issues (e.g., inability to accept constructive criticism, lack of sensitivity, and even suspected alcohol misuse), individual appearance issues (e.g., bad breath or body odor), and cultural and religious differences (e.g., euphemisms like Honey, Sweetie, and Doll). Finally, it addresses tough but necessary corporate discussions having to do with administering corrective action, laying people off, and terminating people for cause.

So the whole idea of the book was to capture the widest swath of day-to-day (and sometimes not too common) events that happen in the workplace that plague the "average bear" supervisor. The scripts not only offer an approach of how to address and structure the topic, but they also map out what kinds of common responses to expect and how to steer the conversation in another direction when necessary.


Question: Why did you believe it was important to write 101 Tough Conversations To Have With Employees?

Paul Falcone: The path of least resistance is avoidance, and most managers sweep things under the rug hoping they'll fix themselves. The truth is, if they could simply address the minor impediments before they became major obstacles, they'd make their lives a lot easier! Still, these are very nuanced conversations, and what I offer at the beginning of the book is a suggested template for how to go about engaging in these types of "constructive feedback" types of discussions. My goal was then to add meat to the bones by showing what a typical conversation might sound like in a particular context. But I tried to make it clear that these were simply suggested templates for how the conversation might sound and that it's critically important that readers customise this to fit their own personalities.

It's funny--after practicing HR and employee relations for about twenty years, I really began seeing patterns of "problems in the making." It didn't take long to realise that if I could just get the word out there in advance of what to say and how to say it, there'd be value in the content of a book like this. But it's sometimes more challenging than you'd think at first glance… Absenteeism seems like a fairly straightforward conversation, but so many workers are covered by intermittent FMLA medical certifications these days that supervisors are afraid to address the topic. Informing your employees that they have to speak English while at work can actually open your company up to unwanted litigation under certain circumstances and in certain states. And how do you accuse a male employee of "leering" at women's breasts when you know the person will simply deny it? The answer lies in explaining the perception problem that exists and then holding that individual accountable for his own perception management. So the book takes some interesting twists and turns, but that's what made it so much fun to write.


Question: How can an employee address lateness within an office environment?

Paul Falcone: As mentioned above, lateness sounds like a typically straightforward topic, and it usually is. Also, we don't want to "manage by fear of a lawsuit" or avoid addressing concerns in a straightforward way, so it's important that we're consistent in terms of how we hold everyone accountable to workplace rules. Sure, there can be mitigating circumstances why lateness may need to be accommodated -- morning sickness or a doctor's note documenting the need for a short-term, fixed period of lateness due to some sort of medical condition, for example - but shy of those scenarios, something as black and white as tardiness is fairly easy to address. Most companies have an absenteeism control policy, which includes tardiness - and either you're at your desk and ready to work at a certain time every day or you're not. The policy then dictates the company's course of action: For so many occurrences, a first (AKA "verbal") warning is issued, and then a formal written warning followed by a final written warning. If the worker continues to violate each of those steps, then a more severe penalty follows, ultimately resulting in termination. Unfortunately most workplace situations aren't quite as simple as tardiness!

And even if the company doesn't have a written policy, issuing corrective action for ongoing tardiness isn't rocket science and can be drafted very easily. (I've written a book titled 101 Sample Write-Ups for Documenting Employee Performance Problems to provide readers with examples of corrective action documents for different types of workplace issues, and it's almost like a companion book to this one.) Still, I caution the reader in this book to make sure that you're distinguishing fairly between occasional and habitual lateness to ensure that you're applying a fair standard to everyone on your team. I provide an example of what a "gentle chat" might sound like before you progress to the formal corrective action stage, but I also then provide a more formal example of a discussion for habitual latecomers who need to be disciplined in writing.


Question: How did you go about writing the sample dialogues managers can use?

Paul Falcone: I taught classes at UCLA Extension for a number of years on employee relations and legal aspects of HR management, and I found that the students had the same questions over and over again. Even more significantly, they often found themselves in the same predicament: "The managers in my company don't address problematic performance or conduct, they sweep everything under the rug, and then BOOM - some proverbial straw is broken on the camel's back and they want the person fired immediately. They rush into my HR office and make me the bad guy - their impediment rather than their resource - but I can't fire a long-term employee who's been with the company for years and who has a record of stellar performance reviews and no corrective action on file. It's their fault for not addressing this earlier or at least telling me so I could help, and now they want to snap their fingers and make the problem magically go away..."

It doesn't matter what industry, size of company, or state they're operating in - these problems are universally human, and I really feel that's why the book sells so well. It's been one of SHRM's "Great 8" bestseller selections since it was published in 2009 and has already been translated into Chinese and Vietnamese. I'd take those classroom stories from UCLA and submit articles to HR Magazine that ultimately made their way in some form or another into this book. I think the manuscripts are easy for most people to digest and customise because there's no drama and the tone isn't judgmental or condescending. It's simply a matter of treating adults like adults and having high expectations of your staffers -- but consistently handling all matters directly and respectfully. I think this book gives the reader the license to speak candidly but professionally about even the most uncomfortable workplace situations, and that's where its greatest value lies.


Question: How is the best way to communicate with employers; email, phone, message or in person?

Paul Falcone: Always in person (unless the person works out of state). Even if you're delivering a documented corrective action notice, for example, meet with the employee first (whenever possible) to hear their side of the story before simply "issuing a ticket" and plopping it in their hands. Not only does it make a better legal record to ensure you've listened to their side of the story before reaching a conclusion as to the appropriate company action, but it's also more humane -- everyone wants to feel like they've been heard before they've been judged. And when you're issuing a corrective action document, give the employee a copy and then read it out loud to the person as he's reading it to himself. Your voice can be softer than what's in black and white on the page, and if there's more empathy and understanding that you're not judging the person- only addressing the performance or conduct at hand--then you're more apt to gain agreement in terms of fixing the problem. It's also critical that you discuss the importance of the individual assuming partial responsibility for the problem at hand - if they're only in "blame mode," then nothing will get accomplished. Adults need to assume responsibility for a problem in order to fix it, so that's a very important part of any conversation - even if you're simply doling out a written warning of some sort.

Email isn't meant for these types of human interventions, nor are yellow sticky notes. "Management by sticky note" is really as scary phenomenon for me as an HR person, and I'm very quick to move managers and supervisors away from that type of issue avoidance tactic because it makes the recipient feel so unworthy. "You mean you couldn't even speak with me about this -- you had to leave me a yellow flyer on my computer termination to express your dissatisfaction with how I handled that situation?" is a common type of response. In fact, we get so lost sometimes in all the technologies that we have available to communicate that we forget that the basic foundation -- direct and personal discussion -- will typically go a long way in and of itself in terms of healing workplace wounds.


Interview by Brooke Hunter