The Strong Woman's Desire for a Strong Man

What sabotages the love lives of today's independent women?

In an unconventional new book, German psychotherapist Maja Storch examines the ways that women (particularly those who we regard as successful, liberated and high-achieving) unwittingly undermine their intimate relationships. Dr Storch's work with women has enabled her to identify the unconscious reasons behind this process.

Many women have rejected the stereotypical female roles of their parents' era but now feel uncomfortable with their continuing desire for a loving partner. Instead of embracing this side of themselves and looking for a man to fulfill that desire, many women continue to fall for those men who are emotionally unavailable and who ultimately treat them badly.

Maja suggests that it is this rejection of their perceived weakness, which gets in the way of many women finding a safe and fulfilling relationship. She helps women unlock the fears that lie behind self-perpetuating patterns and achieve the necessary balance of independence, vulnerability, desire and strength that will enable them to succeed in a relationship.

In her bestselling book - The Strong Woman's Desire for a Strong Man, which has been translated into 10 languages - Maja Storch examines the ways in which successful, independent women (who she classes as 'strong') unwittingly manage to repeatedly undermine their intimate relationships, and their unconscious reasons for doing so.

She writes: 'When I say 'strong woman' I'm not talking about a kind of sexless, uptight, man-hating monster, or an academic who wears severe grey 'power suits' and lives alone with her two pampered cats. The type of woman I have in mind is independent, with a vibrant, energetic personality and an active sex life. She has learnt to rely on her own strength and is not waiting for a man to come along and save her.

'Strong women are capable of great love, and share a longing for a loving man. But their desire has caused them great pain, as their encounters in love have been unsuccessful in the past, and they begin to wonder if this capability for love is a strength or a weakness. Do you love films where the independent woman falls for the broad-shouldered hero? Do you yearn for a man to come along who won't be put off by your confident manner, who will treat you like a woman and protect and guide you through life? And do you secretly hate yourself at the same time for even having these feelings? If so, you're not alone. Welcome to the club!'

Topics discussed in the book: