The Evolving Woman Series Daily Reflections

The Evolving Woman Series Daily Reflections

"In order to move forward and become who they're supposed to be women need to take responsibility for who they are today," says Kimberley Langford, author of the book The Evolving Woman Series...Daily Reflections.

During the various stages of her own life, she has played many roles from acting the part of a sheltered, silenced and helpless woman to that of a creative, motivated, giving woman. And all of these women are portrayed in her book.

Her book was written in 2004 when she was going through a very difficult and acrimonious divorce. Part of her therapy involved re-acquainting herself with her artistic side. "I had painted portraits of many women. These women came from somewhere deep inside of my soul and mind. I could see them. I showed them to my therapist who told me that she saw me in their faces. They portrayed the many sides of who I am," explained Kimberley.

Kimberley showed her pictures to her mentor Kathleen D. Mailer, CEO of Aurora publishing located in Calgary, Alberta. "Kathleen told me that since I'm also a writer that I could write a book about these women. Within a month I had finished the first draft."

Evolving Woman Series...Daily Reflections is comprised of 31 daily descriptions of each of the women she portrays along with a thought for the day and an exercise. Kimberley says she chose this format because, "I wanted my book to be thought provoking, yet easy to read. Women today have full lives that may involve a career, family, involvement in their church groups and so on. I wanted the book to give my readers something potent each day that would make them stop and think and reflect about their lives. Even if it takes ten minutes a day, that's a step in the right direction."

When Kimberley began to receive a huge amount of positive feedback from her readers, she realised she had more to give them. Kimberley then created a full day intensive workshop with a limited attendance of twelve women so that they can take time for reflection and discussion.

The Evolving Woman Series Daily Reflections eBook can be purchased on her website at: www.kimberleylangford.com

Kimberley Langford: is a survivor and a thriver. She was raised in a dysfunctional family and knows all too well what it feels like to be trapped in an abusive relationship. She survived being run over by a bus in March, 2007 and was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome in June, 2008.

She says she uses her past experiences and trauma to help others who are still suffering. "Many people think that suffering is their lot in life. They don't know anything else. I want to show these people that they don't have to live their life as a victim. They can survive, heal and thrive!"

She says that overcoming the need to judge others as well as forgiveness is vital if a person wants to make changes in their life and heal.

Kimberley was born in Newmarket, Ontario and moved west with her family when she was a teenager. She attended Mount Royal College, in Calgary, where she studied Journalism and University transfer courses. While she was a student at the University of Calgary she majored in English Literature.

Along with being a writer and workshop facilitator, Kimberley is the mother of an 11 year old son, William. She is engaged to Folk Musician Jonathan Harding and makes her home in Calgary, Alberta.

The Evolving Woman Series Daily Reflections
Author: Kimberley Langford
ISBN: 1-894326-37-7
Price: $10.95

Interview with Kimberley Langford

Why did you decide to write Evolving Woman Series...Daily Reflections?

Kimberley Langford: I decided to write the Evolving Woman Series...Daily Reflections when my mentor Kathleen D. Mailer told me that the paintings I had created featuring the various 'faces' women wear would be wonderful as a book. As women, we all wear many masks during our lifetime. As I wrote about each woman I portray I realised that I could help women to reflect upon each mask that they wore. For example, the helpless woman who believes that she can't do anything on her own and feels that she needs a man to rescue her. Then there is the empowered woman who is a woman with a vision and she takes action to fulfill her destiny. I could see how I had been a helpless woman and that I was finally moving into becoming an empowered woman. I thought that if I was going through this process, then other women must be as well. I figured that by writing the book, I could help other women.


You were going through a tough time when you wrote this book; did writing this book help you through your healing process?

Kimberley Langford: t was definitely a catharsis. I had been married to a man who felt he had the right to control me. I was told when I could and could not work outside of the home. I had a writing business and he told me when I could and could not write. Many times, I would be in the middle of doing some copy writing for a client and he'd interrupt me and say, "You've been writing for an hour. Go and clean the toilet!" He also told me that my writing would never amount to anything.

Writing this book helped me to understand who I had been, who I was at that time and who I could become. I wrote when I wanted to and for as long as I wanted to. Not only was I able to get my message down on paper, I gave my self permission to do what I love to do - create!

And now I've had women tell me that they thought they were the only ones who were wearing certain masks. I've even had women admit to me that they realize they have had control issues! I find that interesting because it's often men with control issues that we focus on. But women also have issues with needing to control other people and situations. Writing this book proved to me that I have a voice and what I have to say is valid. My ex-husband had tried to silence me and writing this book helped me to find my voice again!

And since I wrote The Evolving Woman Series...I've written and published:
101 Days to Follow a Path of Non-Judgment - A Journal of Self Discovery and Healing
101 Days to Create a Path of Forgiveness
Give a Hand Up and Let Go - A 31 Day Guide to Understanding the True Meaning of Unconditional Giving
and I'm currently writing my fifth book: Reclaiming Your Gifts - Bringing God's Plan for Your Life into Fruition


What exercises do you ask your readers to do throughout your book?

Kimberley Langford: Each daily exercise is a reflection of the discussion about the woman I present. For example: For the Blaming Woman, I ask "In what way do you see yourself as a blaming woman? What has it done for you so far? Are you willing to change?" I want my readers to understand that by blaming others we play the victim and feel as though we don't have to take responsibility for our own life and the choices we make. It's not easy to look at our shortcomings but we need to if we want to change and grow and become all that we can be.

For the Empowered Woman I ask: "How do you see yourself as an empowered woman? Write down 100 qualities that an empowered woman possesses." I believe that every woman has a source that gives her empowerment. We may not feel or believe it at times but it's there. Just think of the woman who stands up to a bullying boss and taps into her own strength to confront them. I also believe that when women write down these qualities it gives them the motivation to become an empowered woman!


What do you hope readers take from Evolving Woman Series...Daily Reflections?
Kimberley Langford: What I like readers to take from reading the book is to look into themselves with honesty and compassion. I'd like them to be able to dream about who they can truly become and act on that dream. One of my readers sent me some feedback about how the book inspired her:"What I learned most after reading the book was the different emotions and stages we go though, identifying them and coming out stronger with a deeper sense of awareness which can then lead to healing. Reflection is the beginning of change."
When I read that ... I was happy that I had touched someone in that way. That's what the book is meant to do!


How can women take responsibility for who they are today?

Kimberley Langford: It's interesting that you ask that because I'm involved with a women's Bible Study group and we've been discussing that. I believe that as women we need to move past the victim mentality and start to take responsibility for ourselves and what we say and do. It's easy to point fingers. And for myself, I used to live in the past. I used what happened during my childhood and my marriage as an excuse for not changing and growing. I would talk non stop about how bad my marriage had been and how I had been abused as a child and that's why I was the way I was. And what I didn't realize was - how much I was turning people off! Now, I see that the past is in the past. Yes, it did shape me in some ways. But I also learned how to be compassionate and empathetic and I also found out how strong I am. Now, I live in the present and I take responsibility for the choices I make. If I make a mistake or hurt someone in some way I apologise and work on making amends. I don't go into the blame game.

And if we continue to blame other people from our past for who we've become today, we're being irresponsible. Those people in the past are just there - in the past! They've only come along for the ride because we've allowed the tapes created from their abuse or what they said or did to play over and over in our heads. When we're responsible we can break those tapes and decide to live in the present without them!

Other ways in which we need to learn to be responsible include:
We may end up acting like a martyr and get upset because taking care of our family involves so much of our time and effort that we lack what it takes to go back to school and get the degree we've always wanted, or start our own business, or go back to work so that we can feel more fulfilled. We may then begin to act hostile and angry and take it our on our families A responsible woman takes action. That may include delegating chores at home and selling our family on the idea that what we're about to do will benefit everyone in the long run.
Taking responsibility involves being courageous and strong. It means that we might refuse to indulge in the latest office gossip because we don't want to get mired down in negativity and associate ourselves with negative people who feed on other people's problems and shortcomings. And if we do get involved, we need to be responsible and admit to it and decide to empower rather than disempower other people.
It may mean owning up to our anger and how it affects our health an relationships. Or admitting we have an addiction, or that we've pushed people away because we do nothing but whine and complain and view the glass as half empty instead of half full!
Taking responsibility is a choice that we make. Deciding to abdicate responsibility keeps us playing the role of victim. Taking responsibility gives us empowerment.