Mommy, Daddy, I Had a Bad Dream!

Mommy, Daddy, I Had a Bad Dream!

When Joey, a bouncy, happy kangaroo, has a series of bad dreams, his parents lovingly help him understand them. Children are fascinated and enlightened as Joey learns to make sense of his bad dreams and to go peacefully and confidently back to sleep without needing to be helped by his parents. The uniqueness of Mommy, Daddy, I Had a Bad Dream!, is that in an appealing, engaging manner it demonstrates to parents and children that bad dreams can be understood as stories children tell themselves in response to upsetting life events. This knowledge frees children from the anxiety produced by the bad dream and also puts them in touch with the feelings the dream was meant to disguise. The book also helps parents by modeling loving, constructive, informed responses to the experience of being awakened in the middle of the night by frightened children.

The author, Martha Heineman Pieper, Ph.D., is the co-author with William J. Pieper, M.D. of the bestselling parenting book, Smart Love: The Comprehensive Guide to Understanding, Regulating, and Enjoying Your Child. The Piepers also co-authored the popular adult self-help book Addicted to Unhappiness. Dr. Pieper received her Ph.D. from the University of Chicago and her BA from Radcliffe College. Her work is the inspiration for Smart Love Family Services which provides a broad spectrum of services to children and families.

The illustrator, Jo Gershman, has illustrated over 35 books for children and adults.

Mommy, Daddy, I Had a Bad Dream!
Smart Love Press
Author: Martha Heineman Pieper, Ph.D.
Illustrator: Jo Gershman
ISBN: 9780983866404
Price: $18.99

Interview with Martha Heineman Pieper

Question: Why was it important to you to write this book about bad dreams?

Martha Heineman Pieper: Almost every child has bad dreams, but parents don't know what to do when frightened children wake them up in the night. Moreover, there are few books on this topic and the ones that exist typically make light of bad dreams as not real, present the scary figures in the dreams as not truly frightening, or suggest that the child can change the dream while dreaming. None of these "solutions" are helpful and children keep waking parents night after night. I wanted to write a book that would offer real help to children and parents so that children would be able to understand their dreams and parents could get a night's sleep!


Question: How does the book empower children and parents to make sense of these dreams?

Martha Heineman Pieper: One of the worst things about having a bad dream is that children feel helpless and victimised. The book counteracts these painful feelings by showing children that they are the authors of their bad dreams. The message of Mommy, Daddy, I Had a Bad Dream! is that "Dreams are stories we tell ourselves for a reason. We just have to understand the reason." Joey, a bouncy, happy kangaroo has a series of four bad dreams. His parents help him to understand the reason why he "told" himself the first three dreams and Joey himself is able to figure out why he had the fourth bad dream and put himself back to sleep. This model will help children and parents make sense of children's bad dreams. Once children connect their upset feelings from the day before with the content of the bad dream, they feel empowered and confident rather than helpless and victimised.

Question: Why did you want to use a Joey as the main character?

Martha Heineman Pieper: I didn't want to have to choose between a boy or girl child as the main character and I thought that both boys and girls could identify with a little kangaroo. Also, it seemed to me that children would love the Australian animals and that they would add an element of interest and fun to the story. I had a wonderful time choosing the Australian animals in the book (my illustrator, Jo Gershman and my daughter Johanna also helped).


Question: What strategies does the book provide for parents?

Martha Heineman Pieper: The kangaroo parents model ideal responses to being awakened in the night by frightened children who have had bad dreams. They are loving and caring. They don't make light of the dream or try to tell Joey that the dreams aren't "real." They explain that dreams are stories we tell ourselves for a reason and help Joey to think about upset feelings from the day before that might explain why he would tell himself the bad dream. For example, Joey had a bad dream that he was locked out of his house and his parents wouldn't let him in. His parents ask him what had upset him the day before and Joey remembered how badly he had felt because he had a cold and couldn't go to his best friend Kenny Koala's birthday party. Then his parents connected his disappointment at missing the party with the dream story of being locked out of the house. This made sense to Joey, who had become interested in the cause of the dream and was no longer frightened when he understood how it came about. So the book helps children but also teaches parents the best way to respond.


Question: What tips do you have for parents who have children that are experiencing bad dreams?

Martha Heineman Pieper: Explain to children that they are the authors of their bad dreams and that the dream is a response to something that bothered them the day before.
Help your children connect upset feelings left over from the day before with the bad dream. If you know they were upset about something, you can suggest the connection yourself.
Don't make light of the bad dream as not "real." Dreams are very real to children and they will just feel misunderstood.
Praise children for thinking about why they had the bad dream or actually making a connection with painful feelings they had. This active process will empower children and dissipate the helplessness brought on by the bad dream.


Question: How does it feel to have authored a multi-award winning book?

Martha Heineman Pieper: I am thrilled that others have seen the power of the story to help children and parents and that they have endorsed the parenting ideals embodied in the kangaroo parents' loving responses. And of course I am very pleased that Jo Gershman's marvelous illustrations have been appreciated.


Question: What is Smart Love Family Services?

Martha Heineman Pieper: The mission of Smart Love Family Services is to help children, adolescents, parents, couples and adults achieve greater inner well-being, sustain closer relationships, and reach their full potentials in life. Services are based on Smart Love™ principles (Smart Love: The Comprehensive Guide to Understanding, Regulating, and Enjoying Your Child) and include counselling, parent coaching, and parent education classes. The non-profit Agency also provides training and consultation to agencies, schools and organisations, helping their childcare personnel positively influence children's social and emotional outcomes. Smart Love Family Services recently opened the Natalie G. Heineman Smart Love Preschool and Toddler Explorations programs. The Preschool and Toddler programs are the first educational programs to incorporate Smart Love principles and, eventually, we hope there will be many national and international Smart Love schools for pre-kindergarten children.

Interview by Brooke Hunter