First-Time Father: The Essential Guide For New Dads

First-Time Father: The Essential Guide For New Dads

Nearly 45% of Australian fathers feel that if they access flexible work practices to engage more actively as a father, it will be interpreted as a lack of commitment to their job. This is according to research done in Australian organisations by Dr Graeme Russell, formerly Associate Professor of Psychology at Macquarie University.

Graeme reveals this in the book First-Time Father which is co-authored with Tony White of Uniting Care Burnside. "They don't have a boss telling them it is important that they take time off when they have a new baby, that it is important to be available and accessible to their child, and nor are new fathers encouraged to reflect on what their priorities are or could be in the future. The possibility that workplaces could operate in this way is not such an unusual idea. Short-term paternity leave, for example two weeks, is now commonly accepted in many countries - including Australia from July 2012 - and fathers are fully expected to take this leave.

"For many fathers, too, the challenge of establishing new work and family priorities becomes an internal struggle - mixed with anxiety, a sense of pressure, and at times guilt. In our experience, guilt does not work well for fathers. A much better motivator is to focus on what is in it for fathers - what are the opportunities for them if they are actively involved with their children? And, the latest research shows that this can be good for workplaces as well!" say Graeme and Tony.

In a study conducted at IBM, the focus was on what they called a 'break point analysis'. The break point was defined as the point at which difficulty managing work-life demands becomes so onerous that it is reflected negatively in workplace outcomes.

The break point they used was when 50% of the employees reported work-life difficulties. They found that the number of hours a person worked each week was the strongest predictor of the level of work-life difficulties experienced.

The most interesting finding was that for those without flexibility in when and where work is done, the break point was 52 working hours per week. However, for those with flexibility, the break point was 60 hours per week. In other words, those who perceived they had flexibility were able to work an extra eight hours per week before they felt their work was negatively influencing their personal and family life. In essence, flexibility enabled them to work 'an extra day a week' without creating additional work-life difficulty. For certain family characteristics, the results were even stronger. For women with pre-school children, the break point without flexibility was 32 hours per week; for those with flexibility it was 43 hours per week, an increase of eleven hours per week. This is an example of how flexibility contributes to the vitality of organisations, people, families and communities.

A similar study conducted in Australia also found that, for both men and women, those with higher levels of flexibility have a higher 'break point' in terms of the impact the hours worked have on their emotional wellbeing.

Graeme and Tony suggest four factors that could improve choices for fathers:
Unpaid parental leave for 12 months (available to fathers and mothers)
Paid parental leave
The right to request flexibility
The right for men to claim discrimination on the basis of caring responsibilities, under the Sex Discrimination Act

Graeme and Tony say their book will help men to:
Address the most common work-family challenges experienced by fathers, which are finding time for everything, switching off from work, and finding ways to make changes at work to improve this balancing act.
Do an audit on how their time is spent. Once you are aware of your patterns, you can begin to make changes.
Decide on what to do and how to approach your employers if your workplace is not father-friendly.
Access research from around the world which has shown positive outcomes for everyone - fathers, mothers, children and workplaces - when fathers are supported in the work environment.

Proposals for improving work-life balance for fathers
1. Unpaid parental leave for twelve months (available to both fathers and mothers)
This applies to the birth of a child or the adoption of a child under sixteen.

You need to have been employed in your organisation for at least twelve months.
Both parents can take leave at the same time under the following conditions: it must be for a period of three weeks or less; and the joint unpaid leave must not start before the birth or adoption placement, and must not end more than three weeks after the date of birth or the day of adoption placement.

2. Paid parental leave (funded by the Federal Government)
Paid leave is available for eligible primary caregivers who have a baby or adopt a child.
Fathers who are primary caregivers can receive the parental leave benefit when their partner has returned to work. The payment is for a maximum of eighteen weeks, at the national minimum wage.
Eligibility criteria include: A work test: You need to have worked continuously for at least ten of the thirteen months prior to the birth, and worked for at least 330 hours during that period.
An income test: Your individual income must be less than $150 000 per annum.
You must not have returned to work.
You cannot also receive the baby bonus.

3. The right to request flexibility (e.g. part-time work; flexible hours, working from home)
This is a National Employment Standards Entitlement.
It applies to people who have had at least twelve months' continuous service.
This applies to employees who are either the parents of, or who have the responsibility for the care of, a child under school age, or a child under eighteen with a disability.
You need to make your request in writing, and employers must respond this request within 21 days.
Employers have a responsibility to thoroughly consider the request, but are able to refuse it on reasonable business grounds. Some of these reasons might be: a financial or work efficiency impact, an inability to redistribute work to existing staff, or an inability to recruit a replacement employee.

4. The right for men to claim discrimination on the basis of caring responsibilities
Under the Sex Discrimination Act workplaces should not discriminate against men who opt to take leave to care for their families or who adopt flexible work arrangements to share the care of their children.

Dr Graeme Russell, previously an Associate Professor in Psychology at Macquarie University, began his work on fatherhood late in the 1970s. He is recognised as a leading international researcher on fathers and families. He has been an author or editor of six books on fathers, families and work/life, written over 20 book chapters and over 30 journal papers on these topics. More recently he has worked closely with leading national and international organisations to implement more effective approaches, to work/life, flexibility and diversity. This has included the implementation of the highly successful workplace program: Men at Work.

Tony White, a psychologist and former manager of health and welfare services, has worked for over 30 years with families, focusing particularly on the antenatal and postnatal role of fathers. In his role with Uniting Care/Burnside in Coffs Harbour, he developed the 'Men and Families Project', a program that provides support for first-time fathers from the outset.

First-Time Father: The Essential Guide For New Dads
Finch Publishing Authors: Dr Graeme Russell and Tony White
ISBN: 9781921462030
Price: $29.99

Interview with Tony White

Question: Can you please provide your top three tips for men who have recently become a father, for the first time?

Tony White: You are important to your child - what you do matters and the relationship you develop with your child has a lasting impact.
Working as a team with your partner will make a difference - to your child and your relationship with your partner.
Determine your priorities for negotiating work and family commitments - make adjustments if you need to get the balance you want between paid work and family life.


Question: What planning does a father need to do, once they find out their partner is pregnant?

Tony White: Inform yourself - find out what is happening to your partner and your baby during pregnancy. If possible attend any appointments your partner has with her health professional. Be actively involved in any antenatal programs available in your area.
Support your partner to ensure her health and wellbeing so that your baby will be healthy too. This could involve changing your diet, sharing exercise routines and avoiding known risk factors. The changes could benefit you as well.
Start thinking of you and your partner as a 'team'. The message to your partner should be - this is our baby. Sharing the responsibility for your baby from the beginning of pregnancy is a great basis for a lifelong partnership in the journey ahead.
Practice your communication with your partner - a critical part of effective teamwork. How you communicate was important from the start of your relationship and will be tested as you travel together as parents.


Question: How does the book address the most common work-family challenges experienced by fathers?

Tony White: In the book we provide information, advice and options based on the latest research and our experience in working with fathers over a long period of time - to assist new fathers in dealing with the following common work and family challenges:
Finding time for family, work and themselves.

Switching off from work and being available, or 'present' when they are at home.

Making work work for them - finding creative ways to make changes at work that will help them be the kind of father they would like to be.


Question: Why do you think it's important first-time fathers read this book?

Tony White: From our extensive experience of research and practical work with new fathers, Graeme and I cover the five most common questions contemporary dads are asking:
How important am I as a father?
What does my child need exactly?
How can I connect with my new baby - and stay connected through their lives?
How can my partner and I work as a team?
How can I include my child in all aspects of my life?

This practical and down-to earth book offers information, advice and options answering these questions and many more. Most importantly, it recognises that men, increasingly, are wanting a satisfying home life as well as a successful career and to be a vital part of their children's lives.


Question: How important, for you, was it to partner with Dr Graeme Russell?

Tony White: Graeme and I first met at a social function in the 70's - even then we were both committed in our work to the support of men in their role as fathers. Our contact was renewed in 2000 when I received funding to develop a program to support men in their transition to fatherhood. Graeme conducted the external evaluation of the program and we maintained regular contact from that time.

When I was approached by Finch publishing regarding the prospect of writing a book for new fathers I immediately approached Graeme with a proposal that we co-author the book. Graeme has extensive experience of conducting research in the area of fathers and as a consultant in the area of work/life, flexibility and diversity, including the highly successful workplace program 'Men at Work'.

We share a commitment to encouraging dads to become actively and positively involved in the lives of their children - recognising their importance and the improved outcomes that result for children. This commitment, a true partnership and our combined experience has resulted in what I believe is an essential book for all new dads.


Interview by Brooke Hunter