The best cure for a bullied child is to acquire life skills
Now that the school year has begun, many parents will wonder whether their child is settling in at school. Some will discover that their child is being bullied (teased, excluded, physically harassed or cyberbullied,) and will be at a loss to know how to respond.Evelyn Field is a practicing psychologist and an expert in dealing with bullying. She understands the stress parents experience when this occurs. She states:
"Its important for parents to regard this as an opportunity to help their child develop resilience and acquire some valuable life skills. If acquired when young, these social survival skills - which I call the Six Secrets of Relating - help children deal with bullying and teasing now and in the future. "
"The reality is that in life we will encounter some difficult or nasty people. Some consciously bully, while others are oblivious to the impact of their bullying behaviours. We need to teach our children how the bullying game works. A range of simple skills, learnt early, allows a child to block bullies no matter where they are encountered - as well as to block his or her own bullying behaviours. "
"Often parents want to blame the school - but schools only have limited resources. In fact, even the best international school programs can reduce the incidence of bullying by just 50%; in Australia it is more like 15%. Legally and ethically, schools must make a reasonable attempt to deal with bullying, but they are not able to eliminate it. "
"I show parents and their children how to discuss the bullying and then help them learn the skills to block the bully. Once a child decides not to make a bully happy, then she or he can stop the bullying. Ive worked with thousands of children over the last thirty years, and I always love that point where a vulnerable, distressed child smiles because they realise they do have the power to block the bully. "
"My research in recent years has been into workplace bullying - and Ive seen clearly that the effects of bullying on a target are pernicious and long-standing. I believe that the school years are the time for a child to develop their resilience and to learn these essential life skills. We know that if the child is allowed to remain a target, he or she will take a sense of victimhood into their adult years and continue to be bullied by others - friends, family members, spouses, colleagues and bosses."
Evelyn M. Field, a parent of two adult children, is a counselling psychologist and professional speaker in Melbourne who has been working with children and adults since the 1970s. As a former schoolbased psychologist, now in private practice, she has worked extensively with young people who have been teased, bullied or victimised. Her work has been acclaimed internationally following the successful publication of Bullybusting in 1999.
Finch Publishing
Bully Blocking: Six secrets to help children deal with teasing and bullying
Author: Evelyn M. Field
ISBN 9781876451776
RRP: $24.95
