Coming Home from Breast Cancerville

Coming Home from Breast Cancerville: What Happens When Surviving Breast Cancer Doesn't Feel Like It Was Surviving At All

Liz Van Vliet thought that when her hair started to grow back that she was through the worst of what breast cancer had in store for her. She was to find that she hadn't even scratched the surface. Within six months Liz felt hopelessly broken and was considering suicide. She had resolved that her husband and three daughters would have been better off if she hadn't survived at all.

In her book Coming Home from Breast Cancerville, Liz details how she continued to "smile and wave" as she grappled with the reality of survivorship: chemopause (chemotherapy-induced menopause), chronic pain as a result of preventive mastectomy and reconstructive surgery, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, the financial implosion caused by her illness and a descent into severe depression. It is a raw and brutally honest account of her experience exposing what surviving actually looks like for countless numbers of women.

Coming Home from Breast Cancerville is her story of struggling to truly recover from breast cancer and the difficulty she had identifying as a survivor in any sense of the word. This book is Liz's story but it's also the story of thousands of women who experience 'survivor guilt' and feel voiceless amidst the chorus of congratulations from well-meaning friends and family who see the end of treatment as the completion of the breast cancer journey when in actual fact it's really just the beginning of a new phase.

It's also a story of being knocked down and losing confidence and how she found the strength and resilience to move forward and find new purpose and meaning helping women develop their own confidence and the skills to be seen as indispensable in the workplace.

Sharing anecdotes of her own experience and that of her husband and three daughters, Liz takes the reader on an epic road trip exposing the potholes and obstacles on Treatment Highway and Recovery Highway as well as the challenge of finding her way onto Survivor Highway. Liz draws inspiration from her own family road trips circa 1975 in a bright orange VW Kombi van to paint a vivid picture of her experience.

Liz says: "Like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, when it dawned on me I was a long way from home I set off to go back. Unfortunately, the home I left is one I can never return to."

"I needed to identify the things that were valuable and important to me, and how they'd changed as a direct result of my road trip experience. In the end, the answers were quite simple: value myself, nurture my own spirit, and show myself the same love and kindness I demonstrated with my daughters and closest friends."

This is the other important message of Coming Home from Breast Cancerville. How survivors of breast cancer are invariably changed by the experience. Getting comfortable with a new normal is what is required and self acceptance and self-compassion are essential companions that helped her navigate her way onto Survivor Highway. Liz shares how she managed this process in the hope that it can assist others and how dealing with the post-traumatic trauma of breast cancer has resulted in her finding the post-traumatic growth that can be the other side of that same coin.

Psychologist Jo Lamble says of the book:
"We hear the word "survivor" said so often. We know that surviving takes strength. We know that a survivor must have endured considerable trauma and pain. But how does the process of surviving actually look?

All too often, we attempt to support a friend, colleague or loved one through their breast cancer journey, but we are at a loss for what to say and what to do. For those who are on this same journey or for anyone wanting to know how to develop and show empathy to a person with breast cancer, Coming home from Breast Cancerville is your go-to book."

There are plenty of books about breast cancer but this is the first book that honestly shares what it feels like to be a survivor of breast cancer.

Interview with Liz Van Vliet

Question: What inspired you to write Coming Home from Breast Cancerville?

Liz Van Vliet: Breast cancer knocked me off my feet but recovery and life after breast cancer is mostly hidden.

Resources and support for the 'getting back home' portion of the Breast Cancer 'journey' are hard to come by and often non-existent. To the onlooker, it can seem like everything is back to normal when the opposite is actually the case. Hair may have grown back, breast implants or breast prostheses may be tucked in place but the 'survivor' is still valiantly trying to find their way back home dragging their support crew along with them.

I am lucky enough to be someone who is comfortable being vulnerable and wear my heart on my sleeve. There are so many survivors that have experienced what I have but either can't or choose not to talk about it. Writing my book was cathartic but is also my way of providing a more nuanced view of breast cancer.


Question: Was it difficult to relive certain times of your life when writing Coming Home from Breast Cancerville?

Liz Van Vliet: Absolutely. The process of getting my manuscript completed took around three years from when I first put pen to paper (or finger to keyboard). It was like opening a Pandora's box of traumatic memories and reliving them again and again. I thought the worst was over when my first draft was finished but it was equally challenging throughout the editing process and now that the book is out I continue to struggle with the emotions it brings up.


Question: What message do you hope to spread with Coming Home from Breast Cancerville?

Liz Van Vliet: I hope to spread two messages. The first is that it's okay not to be okay. Whether it's because breast cancer has knocked you off your feet or if there's been some other trauma has knocked you down, it's so important to be kind to yourself. The second message I want to spread is that 91% of people diagnosed with breast cancer will survive and that is fantastic but there is a price to pay for survival and I'd like to shine a light on the lack of support that exists for post-treatment resources to support the mental and physical wellbeing of breast cancer survivors.


Interview by Brooke Hunter