2008. Simon knows that he has good looks. People in the street tell him so. But when boyfriend Sacha notes Simon's broken nose, his world shatters… 1997.
Tap-dancing along the street like a suburban Gene Kelly, Simon clocks Madame D'Arcy's Theatre School and demands instant enrolment. Andy and Debbie know they cannot afford it and ponder exactly where Simon got his theatrical leanings from - Andy's love of opera or Debbie's annual Esther Rantzen impression?

When Simon auditions as 'Joseph' in a home-made dream coat making him look like Old Testament meets maxi Romany, he meets nemesis Imelda who instantly gets the lead part. Simon and Kylie are devastated. When Debbie sees Imelda and drama teacher Mr Bell together, she speaks her mind. A punch to the jaw later, Mr Ball is on the floor and Debbie is facing police questioning for assault (again). When Imelda rebukes Simon's peace-making efforts, a door swings into his face. As Debbie embraces her new life as a makeover queen, Simon is back at square one with a swollen face to boot. But Kylie knows that revenge is best served cold!